investment and the shoreline

We're heading home to Ohio today (and are so excited!). My mind is trying to wrap itself around the simple fact that we've already been here for four months and the fact that we've only been here for four months.

We could not be more ready to see our families in Ohio and our friends who have become family.

If I'm being honest, though, there is a decent portion of my heart that is a bit nervous. That portion is labeled pride in big capital letters.

There's that prideful part of you that wants to be able to come home with the best of reports, that all your risks were met with wild success and went better than planned. One of those glowing reports that transforms all who ever doubted your choices into enthusiastic believers, and maybe they'd even think they could do it too and that risks were always worth it.

For us, the messy truth is that this risk has been wholly worth it to our hearts but not hasn't always meant wholeness of our bank accounts. And we're okay to admit that. The risk resulted in almost 3 months before I started working and 5 months before Jimmy did. We live with roommates, and that's a bit unconventional for newlyweds.

The whole thing is a bit unconventional.

Last year when we were talking though our options of where to land after June, we knew that in our hearts we wanted to be here. We were also aware that in prioritizing moving across the country to Redding, there would be sacrifice.

If there's anything I've learned over the last few years its that coupled with risk is an ebb and flow of emotions that range from the ecstatic, "I'd live in a cardboard box as long as my heart feels this great" to the victim mindset where you swear all good things have been taken from you. Maybe that's a bit dramatic, but there's truly a swing in the pendulum, sometimes daily. There are moments that you swear you can't take one more step, that your life will never be 'normal' (whatever that is, anyway).

And I wouldn't even classify myself as a very emotional person.

The other day I was talking with a friend about the whole thing, and she reminded me that there has been heavy investment but not that the process isn't through - the profit is yet to be found in all those things we're told make us secure.

Its the part where you've left the shoreline, lost sight of it, and have yet to see the shore on the horizon.

And being in the ocean without sight of land is sometimes scary. But what happens in your heart when you're out at sea - that's the real treasure, the kind that changes life in a way that no paycheck can. The treasure of knowing that you can do it, that you did take just one more step. In fact, you've taken twenty of them.

There are some things that can only be cultivated when you've yet to see the payoff of your investment. Once you're on that end of the process you just don't have to confront all your demons and fears and the lies you believe like you do on those days at sea. And hopefully the process actually changes your concept of payoff anyways. You appreciate the shoreline and landing in a whole new way. Actually, you're free to truly appreciate it because you learned that you can survive without it.

And when we focus on that, the whole "being in process" thing seems a little less hellish. My pride that's fueled by a need for achievement is a bit more quiet and my gratitude for the chance to live this adventure with my best friend wins.

our very first tree

A few weeks ago we set a night aside to go get a tree for the house. We couldn't find an open tree... shop. What do you call those things?

But then Ben, our friend with the good eyes, saw them. The rows of trees in which our trees were buried.

The man who ran the tree... shop stayed open fifteen minutes late for us.

Then I saw her. The little tree. The one that had to be our first. Overcome with Christmas cheer (and the woo-power of six outspoken personalities) he cut us a great deal and gave us both.

We love her. And Jimmy will name her but we have landed on a name yet.

(Sidenote: my husband names everything.)

But she is a beauty. And it is so fun to have a year of firsts like our very first tree.

san fran, we love you.

The weekend after Thanksgiving we drove down to San Francisco to meet friends from Jimmy's time at Occidental. San Fran is only 3.5 hours from Redding which makes it easy to travel to and we are definitely planning to head back soon.

We had no idea how much we would fall in love with this city. We had the most perfect weather - mid-60s, sunshine and no fog - and could not get enough of the beautiful architecture and plethora of shops, restaurants and galleries.

We walked for miles. Claire and Mandla gave us a great overview of the city - Little Italy, Chinatown, Coit Tower, down to the Bay. The city is amazingly clean and so charming. It was the first time I felt like I could legitimately live in a city that large.

This church was so unbelievably beautiful. I could have spent hours there. 

After we walked around all day we made drove down to Chrissy Field and the beach right below Golden Gate. That's when I whipped out my real camera.

We're hoping to head back in February to reconvene with even more of Jimmy's friends from LA and February cannot come soon enough. Thanks to Claire and Mandla for being amazing hosts!

thanksgiving 2012

We enjoyed such a great Thanksgiving here in Redding with our friends. The day started in the chilly morning air for the Turkey Trot, which was the most refreshing way to start the morning. 

We had the most beautiful day weather-wise and I think that from now on we want to start all our Thanksgivings in the fresh air with exercise. 

Then we shared dinner together with our closest friends at Brad and Amanda's. We are so thankful for this group of friends who are truly like family. 

We also were officially married for 5 months on Thanksgiving, which was another fun thing to reflect on.

And yes, this was the view from their porch right before dinner. A major perk of Redding right now - the snow-peaked mountains. 

Video from the day coming soon.

the terrible awful

This week has been so full. So, so full. And we have plenty to share from Thanksgiving and a quick trip to San Fran, but before we get too behind, here's the story of this:

A week and a half ago it was our turn to make dinner for the house. I get bored making the same thing over and over, so I thought I'd try these pretty things.

Thanks Pinterest for easy dinner recipes. The kind that get deadly. 

To make your potatoes super thin like that you have to use a mandolin (no, not the musical instrument). If you aren't acquainted with the nasty kitchen tool, it's sort of like a cheese grater but for vegetables and fruit. I was using the single blade slicer to wow all our friends coming over for dinner with my very thin and crispy potatoes. 

I hadn't ever used one before and was really excited about how efficiently it was working. I was so excited, in fact, that I started using it at a pretty fast rate. And just as Cindy (our roommate) yelled from across the room, "Be careful!" I lost the top of my middle finger and a slice out of my thumb. 

We had pictures of that too but I haven't even had the stomach to look at them yet. 

What ensued was a night of me fainting multiple times (and Jimmy almost fainting too), calls to a friend in med school and our moms to determine whether or not to go to the ER, and lots and lots of bandages. I couldn't look at it for almost a week because I was so queasy.

We didn't end up at the hospital because there wasn't much they could stitch, and since then I've been sporting a rather attractive white gauze bandage on my middle finger.  It'll probably be wrapped up for quite a while and we're all waiting in suspense to see if fingers grow back rounded or if I'll have a flat spot there forever.

And you can't even imagine how important your middle finger is until you can't use it at all. 

Life lessons.

reflecting on thanksgiving 2011

It's so amazing to think that this video was made only a year ago. So much has changed since then that it feels like it happened three years ago.

But as we get ready for Thanksgiving in Redding Round 2, we're reflecting on what an amazing time we had here last year. It was during that Thanksgiving that we realized how much we loved being here and admitted that we both felt as though we could land here eventually.

We'll be documenting tomorrow and making another film - this time it will include a morning 10k and some new faces.

Also, we are so grateful and thankful because

JIMMY ACCEPTED AN AMAZING JOB

and will soon be a trained/licensed psychometrist (more info here).

The job search has been a long road and some days has made us doubtful, but in our hearts we knew that the right thing would open at the right time. I am thankful for a husband who did not make a decision to accept an ill-fitting position out of desperation or fear. The office he will be working with is amazing and we feel incredibly peaceful about the job. Thank you to everyone who has prayed about this journey. It truly feels like we've turned a corner. And we are thankful.

pardon the poor quality of photos

And the lack of posts. A recent injury to my fingers has made typing cumbersome. More on that another day.

This weekend we attended a beautiful wedding for friends. The weather was crazy - windstorm rainy crazy - but it was great to be with friends in the most beautifully lit barn.

It was the first wedding we attended since ours, which was actually a pretty special thing. It's crazy that it's already been (almost) 5 months. At other times though it's hard to imagine what it was like to not be married.

california sunsets

We just can't get enough of these mountains (especially now that they're topped with snow).

on elections

Here we are. Election night. 

It is by far the most uneventful election night of our lives thus far. I, for one, am feeling particularly sentimental for my days at Ashland in the Ashbrook Center. But together, we are feeling the great difference between living in California during an election versus living in Ohio. 

Truthfully I hadn't even thought about it until today, which is indicative of how non-existent the election is here. Really non-existent. 

No bumper stickers, no yard signs (and I mean literally none), no calls. Few commercials, and mostly for local California issues, although we don't watch much TV so that may be a bit inaccurate. The election does not exist here. 

A few weeks ago I was at the grocery down the street from our house picking up a few things. I borrowed Emilie's SUV, parked quickly and was heading through the aisles when I heard someone at the front of the store asking customers if the black SUV was theirs. 

I ran to the front, fearful that I had knicked someone's car because I wasn't used to the size of the SUV or that I had parked in a handicap spot.. something significant. When I got to the front and said that it was my car, the woman yelled (yes, yelled), "ARE YOU FROM OHIO? WHO ARE YOU VOTING FOR?"

"Um, excuse me?"

"I watch the news and Ohio is all the rage! It really matters there! I have to know who you're voting for!"

"I'm not really sure yet. Who are you voting for?"

"I don't know."

And then she walked away. It was the strangest interaction of my life. 

Jimmy's Grandpa is running for Commissioner in Ohio.

We'd be lying if we said we have been tuned in to the entire election, which is pretty sad considering that we're married Poli Sci majors. You'd think the excitement/involvement/anticipation would grow exponentially. 

Some of our friends who graduated with us were energized and I'm sure are doing great work in our political system. We, on the other hand, came out of our studies more disenchanted with the political realm than when we went into it.

We're saddened with the ridiculous amount of money spent on this election. We'd love to see that money used in places where it could be effective. We'd love to have a president who has the chance to be a president rather than an eternal candidate. 

But we're hopeful and we believe in the goodness of the United States. We are paying attention tonight and are always mindful of the blessing of our freedoms. Even if you had to stand in line for 4 hours, it may not be ideal but it's a privilege to get to stand in a line at all. 

here's to you, number 3.

Today my brother, Justin, turns 18.

He is the most amazing creator.

In his honor, here is a personal favorite. 86 Wives. They were learning about persuasive writing in school and had to do a multimedia project. Or something. And he chose to parody the story about the man from Nigeria or Nicaragua... somewhere... who had 86 wives.

Anyways, it produced this hit:

And I can't believe he's 18.

(Have I mentioned how much we miss our families?)

Justin, here's to another year of new adventures and exciting opportunities!

halloween

We celebrated Halloween at a local elementary school for a harvest party with the Wardle ladies.

I know we post about them a lot. In case anyone doesn't know, Addi and Grace are our friends' kids. They're amazing and we've known them some they were tiny, when they looked like this:

It's so fun to see them develop their personalities and sometimes completely outsmart us. And out-wisdom us. They may be young but they've been such a significant part of our journey.

Addi has always been a free spirit but we're learning about her fierce tenacity and competitive nature. Tonight she would not stop getting in line at the Cake Walk until she got herself a cake.

But she is a creative spirit and all girl. The other night we were driving in the car and the election came up. Addi said, "I'm voting for Mitt Romney because he understands our way. Like if I was roller skating he would roller skate behind me and if I did a flip, he would do a flip. You know what I mean? He gets our ways." The metaphor went on for five minutes and included what would happen if Mitt got to the front of the line of rollerskaters and how he would choose to take turns.

To which Grace responded, "I really don't understand why you're trying to explain this to me through roller skating." Grace is called Little Miss Justice and she and I... we're twins at heart. Watching her tell her dad how to drive, seeing her righteous anger whenever a bad word comes up, and experiencing the significance of her purchase of pink pants (PINK!) makes my heart feel warm. I'd trust her judgment on most things. In fact, her opinion on the election was the same as mine. Carry on, Sister Justice. (But thankfully I know she'll be better at tempering it with kindness than I was.)

No costumes for us this year. There was a big dance party for a non-profit downtown tonight but I worked two jobs today AND bought groceries (big awards, right?). And frankly, we were just tired. Womp womp. Maybe next year. 

death and all his moldy friends

Jimmy's masterpiece?

This morning (this rainy, chilly morning) we made a shocking discovery.

Overnight Jimmy's pumpkin peed his pants (see that liquid on the counter?) and made friends with some nasty black mold.

When we went to pick him up, he totally fell apart. He was beautiful while he lasted.

pumpkin model

Last Thursday our friends had a pumpkin carving party. I was pretty sick and definitely not at my most creative.

Enter Pumpkin A: the Charlie Brown pumpkin.

I was going for chevron, but it just turned out a bit boring.

Then my husband finished up this masterpiece:

Free handed and carved.

And he even modeled with his work of art. I really love that man.